For now the Reiki - My mom has just qualified as a Reiki Healer and wanted to connect with me and seeing as I'm going thru such a bad time this was the prefect time for her to heal.
What is Reiki Healing? (fromWikipedia)
Reiki (霊気 or レイキ? IPA: [ˌreɪki]) is a form of spiritual practice, often compared to faith healing,[1][2][3] proposed for the treatment of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual diseases.[4][5][6] Mikao Usui developed Reiki in early 20th century Japan, where he said he received the ability of 'healing without energy depletion' after three weeks of fasting and meditating on Mount Kurama.[7] Practitioners use a technique similar to the laying on of hands as well as gestures in the air, which they say will channel ki energy from a disembodied spirit or spirits. They say the energy then flows through their palms to bring about healing. A 2002 study indicated that there were over one million U.S. adults who had experienced Reiki treatments.[8]
The majority of the scientific community considers Reiki to be pseudoscience.[9] Some studies have shown that the effect of Reiki is similar to that of a placebo.[10]
I was advised to play calming, soft music, no lyrics and lie on my back comfortably.At the given time 9.15 I started my music and lay down placing a pair of shorts over my eyes to cut out all light without actually being in darkness.
21.18 - Feeling heart beating in throat not chest and pressure on my brow above me eyes, as if someone is pressing with their thumbs against my head
21.23 - My nose felt like it had been punched and was swollen - numb top gums
21.24 - pressure back on my eyes - gums still numb, I was feeling actually aware of my tongue and heart was beating in chest again now
21.27 - pressure back on nose not eyes anymore, jaw stiff, heart beating in throat, chest and coxix (don't know how to spell that)
21.32 - left shoulder twitched
21.36 - I felt like a hand was squeezing my breast bone in order to get ot my heart
21.39 - the muscles in my lower back started to pull
21.40 - I saw a cyan light in my left eye, like a line with a star attached on the right end
21.44 - I was finding it heavy and hard to breath, started getting itchy then my body started to twitch (legs, ankles, neck, arms) I saw a black, dark cloth over me, it then started rising then came back down and inveloped me in darkness, pure darkness - I actually got scared and started to cry, and head was moving side to side. the darkness then turned to material as i focused inside and the material was drawn away by a central point over my head, I was fighting it coming back down and white light started to come up under it, but when I opened my eyes it was still hanging over me like it wanted to come down and 'take me again'
21.50 - i then lay back down to calm myself and my eyes were burning
Result:
I got up when my breathing was normal again. while i was lying down i heard things in the music that I've never heard before (and I've listen to this kin cd over 10 times)
As i was writing i felt cold and weak but my eyes some how felt happier, just my eyes
When i went to make my hot choc, lights seemed brighter and my vision clearer
My soul def feels lifted, but I still feel like there is a darkness larking about
All in all I feel like I can carry on living - when all of the shit that is currently going on started, I actually considered a quick fix of suicide with a note for the police to investigate apon - but then I thought, I'm brave and not stupid and wouldn't wanna do something like that and life goes on and it only makes us stronger as we learn.
Plus karma is a killer....
